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How to salvage the sauce

I’ll be honest, part of me was hoping the Steelers would tank this year so that Tomlin would be on the way out. But after watching a third straight loss I don’t think I can take much more of this. It really is painful to watch. I’ve honestly never felt this hopeless about a Steelers team. Even the Brister and Kordell years had me feeling a little bit more optimistic about the team’s future. I’m not sure what it is,  there is definitely still some talent on the team. I think it’s the fact that there doesn’t ever seem to be any improvement in most areas with this team under Tomlin. Gameplanning, discipline, mental mistakes, attitude never seem to change or show signs of improving. Now Tomlin does seem like a legitmately nice guy but everything I’ve seen with my own two eyes tells me he is a bad head coach, like maybe the worst in the NFL right now.

With all that said, here’s what I would do to salvage the season and get the Steelers to an 8-8 record and a Wildcard berth because let’s be honest this is the best case scenario and even this is probably overshooting it.  But let’s not forget,  the AFC is looking like a big bag of crap on top of some more crap. 8-8 will probably get some team into the playoffs. OK this is it (note: none of this will happen) –

– Fire Tomlin and hire an interim coach.

– Fire Haley and name QB coach Randy Fichtner as new interim OC. Fichtner, you’re coaching for a long-term gig!

– Fire the O-line coach, whoever the hell he is.

– Make Redman official waterboy.

– Teach turnover drills, INT drills, etc. in practice, over and over again.

– Reduce Ryan Clark’s playing time.

– No more pool, shuffleboard, fuck it, we’ll do it live!

– Try to trade for an experienced LB or O-lineman. Supposedly Kion Wilson played last night, damned if I could tell. The Steelers picked Velasco off the street and he’s played arguably better than any of the other starters on the O-line so far.

– No more rotating tackles, what the hell is this Pop Warner ball? stick with who you got and coach ’em better.

– Use Moye in the redzone. Markus Wheaton plays a lot more. Manny Sanders is used on short/intermediate stuff almost exclusively. The guy has picked up big chunks of yards in the past on crossers and short stuff, this is what he excels at so far. PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS.

– Get Ben to look short more. Get the RB’s involved in the passing game more, Get Ben to buy into it. If that means buying him a six-pack then so be it! If that means sneaking into his bedroom at night and brainwashing him with audio tapes then it shall be done.

– If a run play succeeds that doesn’t mean you need to call 2 more run plays right after it. In fact, do the opposite.

– Base offense going forward – 3 WR’s (Brown, Sanders, Cotchery, Wheaton rotate), 1 TE and 1 RB. High tempo offense. No more ball control offense bullshit to start games or waiting until the team is losing to go more high tempo. No more playing scared.

– Do the unexpected.

Here is the sober truth of what will actually happen the rest of the way this season.

– Steelers will continue to run on 1st down with unimaginative plays. But if one run plays works, rest assured we will see consecutive run plays to follow that leading to a third and long. The same shit happened with Arians a good bit. It’s almost like the Rooneys are up in the owner’s box sending orders down to Haley through his headset. Or maybe Haley is simply a stubborn dummy, but there’s definitely a pattern here with the playcalling spanning two OC’s now.

– The offense will go up tempo/2 minute offense only at the end of the 1st half and when desperate (ie, down by multiple digits or repeated 3 and outs).

– Markus Wheaton will continue to be barely seen on the field.

– Ben will be injured, probably sooner than later.

– Isaac Redman will continue to see a lot of playing time as Steeler fans everywhere look on mystified.

– The coaching staffs answer to problems on the team is simply to execute better and “We do what we do”, the only change will be flip flopping tackles and maybe a couple of other positions that are in effect counter productive. Tomlin has already admitted as much.

– The defense will continue to play decent but no “splash” plays, no turnovers, no big stops when needed.

– No moves will be made to pick up an impact player.

– Mike Tomlin will be the head coach for at least another 2 or 3 seasons. Let that thought settle in. Same goes for Colbert and his recent history of poor drafts.

– The team will probably finish 5-11 or maybe 6-10 with a victory in the last game of the season just to add further insult to injury and draft positioning. Why? Because that kind of stupidity fits this team like a glove. Just look at last season’s final game and pointless victory.

– At the end of the season a couple lesser coaching positions will have new coaches. Picked by Tomlin. And the vicious cycle will continue.

– Prove me wrong Steelers.

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